Fanzine: director's cut

A crazed egomaniac, I have a real hard-on for seeing my name in print. Publications may refuse to present it in the same font as the Def Leppard logo or using ink which smells of 'Stunning Eau De Parfum', Katie Price's top fragrance, but it remains a great name and one that the public will never tire of reading. You do realise that dotting lower-case 'I's with little hearts was my idea, yeah? You're welcome, legions of imitators. An upper-case 'Q' that's seen to coyly suck on a lollipop while twirling its hair round its forefinger? I'm working on it, compelled to just... create, y'know?

The downside of seeing my name, which is 'Lewis Porteous', in print is that writing for physical publications imposes stricter word-limits on my 'craft'. It can be frustrating producing solid 300-400 word pieces for regularly updated websites, only to have 100 words or less at my disposal when trying to impress the kind of readership that a well distributed magazine guarantees. I'm rarely satisfied whenever I read back magazine copy, though acknowledge that these reviews have to be pretty shallow by their nature.

I agreed to cover shows by King Charles and Fanzine a couple of months ago, for The Fly's magazine and website, respectively. The former put on what was probably the most risible performance I have ever witnessed and yet seemed poised for enormous mainstream success in the coming year. His apparent need to bask in the adulation of teenage girls genuinely unsettled me, yet I also resented him for seemingly lacking the nerve to commit the sort of moral transgression that any number of legendary 1950s rock 'n' rollers wouldn't have thought twice about. It was a fun night- my friend and I especially enjoyed it when a young lady approached us to ask if we were “massive K.C. fans” like her- but I could say nothing good about it. I explained this to my editor and, happily, a review was off the cards. I covered Fanzine soon after, went on holiday and forgot about the show.

I leafed through a copy of The Fly this weekend and saw that my piece on Fanzine had been included in heavily edited form, possibly in place of the mooted King Charles piece. It reads OK, but when a review is substantially reduced in size, its structure and content will inevitably seem a little off, at least to the writer. In this case, I'd maybe rather my work had been attributed to Alan Smithee (a pseudonym used by directors who wish not to be associated with a film for which they would normally be credited, numb-nuts).

EDIT: Upon re-reading it just now, the magazine version is fine, it just seems a little short of context, perhaps even too specific. Sorry to have wasted your time.

Feel free to compare the original and the edit as produced below!

Original

Fanzine

Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh

19/11/11

****

Since the Libertines broke big with their brand of gritty mockney, most commercially viable UK guitar bands tend to impose a strong sense of national identity onto their music, having apparently learnt nothing from Britpop's mistakes. Currently touring in support of like-minded Londoners Yuck, Fanzine recognise that flag waving is for squares and are a mouth-watering proposition in the current climate. Though touted as students of the sort of noise pop associated with Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr., the group's sound is markedly more laid back and closer to that of early Teenage Fanclub and even nineties Glam Rock revisionists Denim.

Tonight is their first time playing in Scotland and though nerves do show, their material is strong enough that they quickly relax and allow it to speak for them. Opening track and new single 'Roman Holiday' is an infectious highlight, buoyed by a crunching guitar line and nonchalant harmonies. The following 'L.A.', meanwhile, sees the group set their frayed Shoegaze atop sprightly Phil Spector drums and sounds, like much of their set, wistfully nostalgic for a time in their lives that hasn't actually passed. Though they only play for 20 minutes, they display bags of promise and are a hit with the Yuck fans. While critics tend to regard Slacker Rock as an American art form, Fanzine peddle a distinctly British strain of it, both bands on tonight's bill hinting that a widespread resurrection of the sound could well be imminent.

http://www.the-fly.co.uk/reviews/live/1010882/fanzine/

Edit

Tonight is Fanzine's first time in playing in Scotland and though their nerves do show, their material is strong enough that they quickly relax and allow it to speak for them. Opening track 'Roman Holiday' is an infectious highlight, buoyed by a crunching guitar line and nonchalant harmonies. The following 'L.A.', meanwhile, sees the group set their frayed Shoegaze atop sprightly Phil Spector drums, like much of their set, wistfully nostalgic for a time in their lives that hasn't actually passed. Though they only play for 20 minutes, they display bags of promise. While critics tend to regard slacker rock as an American art form, Fanzine peddle a distinctly British and rather brilliant strain of it.